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Jeph Howard

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(no subject) [Sep. 1st, 2005|12:18 am]
Jeph Howard
[mood |lonelylonely]

HAHAHA!!

Someone just tried to mug me. I found it hilarious.

Damn, ruined my coat though. Bastard.
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(no subject) [Aug. 19th, 2005|09:15 am]
Jeph Howard
[mood |drunkdrunk off my ass!]

Travis!!! Where the hell are you?! I seriously need to speak with you..its dire or it may be petty I'm not sure yet. I have mixed feelings I think. But once we talk we'll know for sure. I need a favor from you..and well only you can do this. you're the only one I can trust with something this big you know.

Alright...I have taken up a lot more drinking recently..I've been a little depressed. I'm just sitting at home drinking, watching tv, and eating cheetos. *sigh* this is probably the drunkest I have ever been in my life. And I've been really fucked up before! Ask Quinn he knows..don't ya sweetie? I'm surprised I'm able to write this.

To Gerard:
I'm in a drunken state right now..so I'm not sure if you should take this seriously. But anyway...its looking like you want Mikey. And who could really blame you, he's a sweet guy. Very selfish...but nevertheless. I just I really enjoyed the short time we had together, it was special. But if he's who you want, I won't stand in your way.

To Mikey:
I know you're still in a coma and you won't be able to read this. But in the off chance you wake up and happen to come across this entry..its all for you. *sigh* I should've told you all this when I broke it off with you. And I also should have done it when you were sober.
You broke my heart Michael...at least what was left of an already mangled heart. I really did try for you. Everyone kept telling me I had to change my temper and I honestly worked on it so that you wouldn't have to be afraid of me. And finally you let me have you and I was all set to take you on dates the whole thing! I wanted to be the one to make you feel as special as I think you are...were.
And still after all the I had done you still harbor feelings for someone else. *sigh* Obviously I meant nothing.
Thanks.

Anyway...Matty :) Adam :) thanks you for being there for me. I do thank you.

-Jepha

ps: I miss Quinn.
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(no subject) [Aug. 9th, 2005|09:47 am]
Jeph Howard
[mood |distresseddistressed]

Alright, Gerard I know you're going through an emotional time right now. I can understand...and about that day, I'm sorry for putting you on the spot like that, i'm so sorry.

Look *sigh* for you...I'll back off for a while 'til things are clear for you. Gee, honestly all I want is for you to be happy...nothing but happy because that's all you deserve. Even if it isn't with me.

As hard as this is for me to say, if you want to be with him, be with him. Everything he said to you I could never compete with. Never in a million years. I just want you to know that that night we spent together was great and I loved every minute of it! I don't regret our night and I thank you for wanting me for that short time. :)

Do me one favor, if he is the one you chose be honest with me and tell me first. Thanks.


-Jepha
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it's done [Aug. 7th, 2005|05:21 pm]
Jeph Howard
[mood |crappycrappy]

FUCK EVERYONE EVERYTHING AND THE WORLD!


excuse me but I'm going back to my bed and never coming out again!!!

-Jepha
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(no subject) [Aug. 3rd, 2005|10:25 pm]
Jeph Howard
[mood |confusedconfused]

Quinn and Adamn so fucking happy for you! :)

Okay anyway I haven't update in a little while so here it goes:
I finally got together with Mikey after so much waiting but I'm sure it's worth it. Afterwards Me and Gerard had a big fight over the phone about Mikey. Thankfully its been a couple days and Geard has calmed down about it. Mikey I really need to talk to you and now! There are some distrubing things I've been hearing and I need to talk to you badly.
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(no subject) [Jul. 29th, 2005|02:09 pm]
Jeph Howard
[mood |angryangry]

I'm torn, I guess I don't quite know what I want anymore. I've wanted him for so long and now that I have the chance to have him I just feel like I'm seriously gonna fuck up something that can really be good. And good things don't come to be easily. Things are changing, bad things are happening and now I have to deal with them. I think everything is my fault, and if they aren't, they're at least partly my fault.

Travis, i'm a terrible friend and for everything I'm sorry! I truely am and at all costs I will make it up to you I promise.

Quinn, I know I said I'd see you something this week but something's come up, something that can't wait. Sorry...but I will see you soon promise :)

-Jepha, wishing he had some drugs to numb the pain.
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(no subject) [Jul. 25th, 2005|06:03 pm]
Jeph Howard
[mood |guiltyguilty]

I'm in the hospital...and well i'm in pretty bad shape. I guess I don't really want to talk about it, I deserve to be here.

but i'm out now...at home and resting.
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(no subject) [Jul. 24th, 2005|08:23 pm]
Jeph Howard
[mood |happyhappy]

Alright i'm sure i've been confusing people 'cause i've been seriously confusing myself. If any of you have wondered why I've just been hanging around and always at one of your busses, well as you know i don't have a bus. Sorry Gee i lied. but honestly i just wanted to settle in before i said anything. Anyway I found a house, I live in NJ now...at the moment my house is pretty much empty, so i need funiture.

however i'm too lazy to get off the one piece of funiture i have, my mattress. :)

so come by, all are welcome!
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(no subject) [Jul. 19th, 2005|09:42 pm]
Jeph Howard
[mood |confusedconfused]

*sigh* I don't understand this, I don't understand anyone these days. Suddenly everyone thinks something's wrong with me, saying I'm distant and stuff. It's weird, I don't understand why people are saying these things! NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME!

Ever feel like you're responsible for a lot that goes wrong? I do that's for damn sure! I'm a huge fuck up...I'm sure some of you already know this.


oh yeah i have a new screen name. mysticxxjephax

-Jepha
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(no subject) [Jul. 17th, 2005|09:10 pm]
Jeph Howard
[mood |flirtyflirty]

I hung with Matt today, oh my god he's SUCH A SWEET GUY! I hope you had fun with me today Matt we have to do it again someday. I'll have those pictures we took developed soon and maybe I'll make that little shrine we talking about!

You have a great boyfriend Travis! :)

Anyway, Gerard I'm glad we're friends again...I don't think I would be able to survive without ya man.

Now i wait for Mikey to get back *sigh* I miss him.
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